ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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