i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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