ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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