I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just pee around me
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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