your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize