Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
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You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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