Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
