i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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