Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
