Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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