omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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