Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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