so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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