Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
