i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
