quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
