nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
