its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
