just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
