his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
