its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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