I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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