And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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