whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
