Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
third nipple confirmed
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
