my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
