If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
