I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
pray to the hookup gods
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
