i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
