Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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