Too much gin, very little bucket
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
