Christians are straight up FREAKS
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My dick has a subreddit
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
