no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
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It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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