His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize