I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
