I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
