Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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