he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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