So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
