Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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