Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Sorry my hands just texted you
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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