There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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