i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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