we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
