On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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