Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
did i just pee glitter
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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