you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
