my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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