i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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