I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
