I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
