so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
