toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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