I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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