when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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