Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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