maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
