worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
