I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize