Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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