So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
