I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
